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 Relationship Evaluation:
Everyone dreaded report
card day in school and if you are dreading making your own relationship
report card, then you need to buckle down and study! When you rank
all of the aspects of your relationship between you and your spouse,
you need to score in the high nineties to achieve an A+. Consider
creating a ‘relationship report card’ with your spouse
and watch the awakening you will both experience. When you try to
complete your relationship report card, it should not turn into a
‘blame game’. It should open the lines of communication
and offer some invaluable insight into your relationship as to where
you need changes and improvements.
When you consider how
you want to grade your partner and yourself, it is a good idea to
have some pre-set guidelines as to what each grade means. For example,
an ‘A’ might mean that your partner isn’t perfect,
but obviously excelling. It could also mean that your partner is loving,
attentive, enthusiastic, and satisfying. A ‘B’ could stand
for a partner who is always trying, better than most and consistently
works on improvement. A ‘C’ might mean average or acceptable.
‘C’s’ always indicate plenty of room for improvement.
‘D’s’ and ‘F’s’ should be reserved
for unhappy situations or even hopeless ones. ‘D’s’
indicate never hopeless while ‘F’s’ require more
than just a relationship evaluation. If you find that you and your
spouse have areas with a ‘D’ or an ‘F’, you
need to focus on why you are giving or receiving those grades and
commit to some kind of action in order to change and improve that
grade. It might involve a commitment on both spouses, but if both
are willing to work at it the grade is already moving higher.
When you begin working
on your relationship report card, it should be graded the same way
your school papers were graded with a number grade (ex. 80%, 50%,
95% and so on). Grade both your partner and yourself in areas like
affection, ability to resolve conflict, attitude, commitment, communication
skills, consideration level, thinking as a ‘couple’, creativity,
sensitivity, flexibility, generosity, friendship and gift giving skills.
Once you’ve completed that list, continue to evaluate your honesty
levels, listening skills, household management skills, patience, love
making, romance abilities and practice, playfulness, self-esteem,
self-awareness, sense of humor, empathy, tolerance and spontaneity.
If you feel that there are any other areas relevant to your particular
relationship, feel free to add and evaluate at your discretion.
When you and your spouse
are grading each other, be sure to both participate in grading. You
can work out your own particulars, but make sure you both have a say
in both of your grades. Compare and talk about your grades and why
your partner believes you deserve a particular grade (this includes
the good grades, too!). You’ll be surprised at how your partner
sees your relationship and you’ll have invaluable insight into
how he or she sees your role in the relationship. Just because you
may not have earned an A+ in one area doesn’t mean that you
can’t celebrate. Pat yourself (and your partner) on the back
for anything over a ‘B’ and talk about ways you can improve
on any ‘C’s’ and ‘D’s’.
Once you’ve completed
your evaluations, you can move on to altering or improving certain
behaviors. Sometimes you may be better off thinking instead of acting
or even better, thinking before acting.
 My good Marriage Sponsors;
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